It totally consumes me and I hate what trying to become pregnant has done to me as a person. I use to be the funny one, I use to love spending time with my girlfriends, going out, being with family & friends, I was the life of the party (well in my head I was). Of course this was BI (before infertility). I hate that I’m just not that same person. Try as I might but I can’t put this part of my life in a compartment and just pull it out of its box everytime I need to think about it. It has become a part of me and it’s almost defining me as a person. It’s difficult to plan holidays and social occasions because a) I could be ovulating and well I need to, you know, be sure that MM and I are together b) I could be in the middle of IVF stuff and it’s tricky to do timed injections in the bathroom of a restaurant or I could be post transfer and need to keep very still and if possible have my legs in the air for long periods of the time. I marvel at a pregnant woman’s belly. It just seems like such a miracle to get pregnant and yet everyone seems to be doing it. How the hell does it work like that? Getting pregnant is beginning to feel like a full time job.
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